The Art of Practice

Venice Beach, Sunset

There’s this feeling I have inside that’s super confident about what I’m capable of. There’s no limit to what I think I can do. I felt it when I started driving. 16 came and went finding me extremely uninterested in stepping foot behind the wheel of a car. I couldn’t be bothered until I had to deal with a 3 hour round trip commute to and from college (Needless to say I passed and my parallel parking skillz that day should have been recorded and shown to new drivers on what to do I was THAT good). Being unbothered for most of my life has been quite the experience. I believe it may have been a way for me to deal with my anxiety. If I don’t look at it or think about it, I most certainly don’t bring it to mind.

It hurts to look back at my life and realize I haven’t done much for myself from an actively engaged mentality. Which is why this endeavor has taken, what feels like, my entire life. Perhaps that’s what my life has been about. Preparing myself for the real work I’m meant to do. Since I was never quite sure what my work was supposed to be. Now that things are getting clearer, I’m feeling more and more bothered.

The only way I see to combat being unbothered, is to consistently think about things I want to do and practice now for when I get to the place I belong. Because I know that when I do eventually get to the time tangible changes will fully form, I don’t want to feel incapable of taking care of myself. And, let’s be honest, taking care of oneself is extremely difficult and stressful. For those who have been able to take care of themselves, I have to remember that they too had a journey and that the process was difficult and stressful for them as well. Looking inside myself to find the commitment to practice while the changes are happening now, is the best practice I can do to prepare. Marinate, if you will.

*Practice doesn’t make perfect. It makes familiar.